Learning to Forgive

Peter approached Jesus and asked him, ‘Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” Mathew 18: 21-22. The question that Peter asks Jesus in this scripture about forgiveness must be understood in its context. It comes on the heels of Jesus explaining to His disciples how we are to handle disputes and offenses with one another. Jesus said that if a believer sins, the one who was hurt or noticed the wrongdoing should first discuss the issue privately. If the person doesn’t acknowledge or repent of their wrongdoing, then two or three are brought in to discuss the issue with him or her. If the person continues to remain stubborn, the matter should be brought before the local church, the assembly of believers. Finally, If the person still refuses to stop their offensive or wrong behavior, he or she should be expelled from the community. Given this context, Peter’s question is asking what if the person repents and asks for my forgiveness? To what extent am I to forgive the person who wronged me? Seven times? I’ve often wondered why Peter used the number seven. After researching, in Scripture, the number seven often symbolizes completion or perfection. We look to the creation story. Genesis tells us that God created the heavens and the Earth in six days, and, upon completion, God rested on the seventh day (Genesis 1; 2:1-2). So, in essence, Peter probably thought saying seven times was very generous. “Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'” Jesus goes beyond Peter’s generous number. Jesus' exaggeration is saying in a symbolic way to forgive until you reach perfection. Forgiveness is such a difficult thing. And the God who created us knows our human weaknesses. He knows that by our basic nature, we do not want to forgive. I know from my past experience that I used to feel justified in holding onto a grudge when someone hurt me. I would stew over it, letting my anger get the best of me. However, the more I grew in my faith and my relationship with Jesus, the more I began to realize that holding on to the grudge and anger was becoming such a burden for me. In actuality, it was affecting me more than the person who hurt me. At one point I began to realize that I was working so hard at being angry that I was worn out. Something needed to change. We must look to Jesus as an example to imitate when forgiving others. With outstretched hands upon the cross, He said “Father forgive them for they know not what they do”. God calls us to imitate Jesus and to forgive others. Forgiveness is difficult, not impossible. In fact, it is even included in the one prayer that Jesus gave us, the Our Father. It says, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” We can only forgive by turning to God and asking for His supernatural grace to do so. I recently heard a sermon where the priest reminded us that God’s measure of forgiveness for us is conditional upon the measure that we forgive others. If we want God to forgive us fully of all our sins, we must do the same with others who have hurt us and wronged us. God wants us to turn to Him for the strength, courage, and grace to do this. He wants us to strive to forgive to perfection knowing we may fall short. It’s in turning it over to God and to begin learning to forgive. I want to take a moment to be clear that forgiveness does not mean staying in an abusive relationship. Forgiveness doesn’t call us to be a victim. Those in such a situation must first and foremost remove themselves from that environment. Additionally, forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. There are some situations where forgetting is impossible. Forgiveness means choosing to not hold onto your anger, disappointments, and frustration. In doing so, we are actually being kind to ourselves by releasing ourselves from the burden of unforgiveness. I can truly say that the more I am learning to forgive, the easier it has become. And while I am nowhere near being perfect, I am striving to be like Jesus. Now when someone hurts me, I run to Jesus first instead of becoming angry and holding a grudge. I ask for His grace to let it go and ask Him to give me the ability to forgive the person. Every time I am able to do this, I feel a supernatural peace in my soul that I know is from God. Today, let us give God the anger, disappointments, and frustrations we feel from those who have hurt us. Let us ask God for the supernatural grace to forgive those who have hurt us. Let us experience God's grace and the peace of heart it gives us when we let go and give it all to Jesus.