Dryness in Water

I was thanking the Lord for my beautiful swim this morning.  It was surreal to watch the dark sky slowly become dawn as I swam.  All was quiet and all I heard was the sound of the water parting with each stroke I took and the gasp of each methodical breath.  There was a rhythm that emerged with each stroke I took.  I prayed my rosary as I swam, able to concentrate on each mystery undistracted because my body was busy and my mind focused. I was tired but peaceful.

I began to ponder why I was having such trouble praying lately.  I went on two very inspiring retreats back-to-back and came back on fire and filled with joy.  However, those feelings evaporated very quickly, and I have had a dryness in my prayer life.

Lately, it’s been difficult to get quiet, peaceful, and focused when I pray.  The scriptures I have been reading daily have left me uninspired and I’ve struggled to even write in my journal.  It’s as though after I came back from retreat, God went on vacation and just left me.  It’s time for Him to return.

Going into the retreats, my heart was desiring a deeper relationship with God.  As I emerged from the retreats, I felt a healing deep in my soul.  I felt that God drew me closer to His heart and showed me how uniquely made I am and how much He loves me.

And now here I am feeling like I’m just going through the motions of prayer.  I don’t know if you’ve experienced this same thing.  I do know that even though I am in a dry spell, somewhere deep in my heart I feel God is still calling me to Him.  Deep in my heart, I know God has not abandoned me but is allowing this time to strengthen me. 

The question I must ask myself is will I trust God’s love and be faithful in continuing to search Him out?  Will I allow this dry period to hone my faithfulness?  I am realizing that this is a period of testing and growth so that I may progress in my spiritual life.  After all, there isn’t a single true relationship without its hardships or dryness.  It’s the perseverance through it that strengthens the relationship.  Why should it be any different with God?

Today I will thank God for this revelation.  I will lean into this dryness in prayer.  I will persevere knowing God is calling me into a deeper relationship with Him.